you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
