I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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