He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
