And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
