I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
