dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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