I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He did a backflip because drugs
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
