Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
