People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
