It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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