Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
