Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Text me some of your sweat
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
