you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
