my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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