I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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