Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
