that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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