Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
