yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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