pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
