you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
