This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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