Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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