So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
