Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
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