So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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