Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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