dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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