Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize