At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
