Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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