Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
