Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Tell him ill love him long time

(1-773): View more from Illinois

I'll assure him of it

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(970): View more from Colorado

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.

(970): View more from Colorado

Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.

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(905): View more from Ontario

He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."

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(248): View more from Michigan

Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.

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(406): View more from Montana

Drunk walkin through police station. America

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.

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(248): View more from Michigan

27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?

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