We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
