are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
