Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
