break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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