you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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