Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize