After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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