he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
