I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She's the barista slut.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
