Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
