It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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