My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
