direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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