dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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