Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
