there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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