the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
