we have officially lost it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
