Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
