what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
