Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.

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(914): View more from New York

i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros

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(+91): View more from India

Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?

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(705): View more from Ontario

Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?

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