3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
