i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
