Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Mom said you looked used
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
