So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
