Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
