Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize