i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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